Bell or knocker

TACK, TACK, TACK. The sound came hacking through my breakfast. Someone was tapping very hard on the glass of our front door. On opening the door was a Royal Mail driver holding out a parcel. I asked him if he could knock on the wood not the glass. “It’s always something with you people. Get a bell or a knocker” I replied that we were thinking of this, but until then could he knock on the wood of the door. “Get a bell or a knocker”. Less of a conversation more two monologues. I pressed my point and asked if he was going to stop tapping on the glass as it was damaging it. While walking away I was told once more to invest in specific door enhancements. I closed the door, annoyed. I grabbed a pen nipped back out into the street and took a note of the reg of the Royal Mail van.

The next day I had call from my wife who was at home with the baby. She was upset. A supervisor had called round and was telling her to get a bell or knocker and that the driver had reported that I had be aggressive. The supervisor kept repeating that we needed to get a bell.

On returning home I intended to now put in a complaint about Royal Mail supervisors intimidating my wife, but was swept away from the task by baby amongst other things.

A few days later – I was working from home – a knock at the door. A different man is holding a parcel for us. I take the parcel say thanks and am about to close the door when he introduces himself by name and says he called round and spoke to my wife about getting a bell. I told him how she had felt about the previous exchange. He apologies, it seemed genuine. He then asked if I was going to get a bell or knocker. I pointed out that it was not the place of the Royal Mail to tell me what to put on my front door, that we had been living here for years and had many parcels delivered and everyone else either rattled the letter box or knocked on the wood. I added that we were thinking of getting a knocker when we found one that suited the door and the house. In midst conversation the driver avoiding eye contact with me walked up to the supervisor and asked loudly “Are they getting a bell?” and walked away.

I was then told that the driver had put in a complaint against me for being aggressive. I suggested that he had merely anticipated that I was going to complain and got in first. I told the Super that I was impressed that so much effort was being put in with all these visits, when normally if you complain to Royal Mail it seems to be totally ignored. He said the issue is mostly with people complaining about drivers not knocking and leaving cards. I assured him that I had no issue or complaint with the driver. And asked how he’d take it if someone came to his home and tried to tell him what to have on his front door. He gave me a couple of phone numbers if I had a problems and his name.

I returned to my morning feeling several degrees hotter than I had before.

Films – reccomended

Miracle in Milan
Cinema Paradiso
Life is beautiful
Europa Europa
The Icicle Thief
The red balloon
City of Lost Children
Static (only american film so far!) – why aren’t american films classified as foreign films in the UK?
Mad Max
Dead Men don’t wear plaid

The sausage is a cunning bird- childrens rhyme

“The sausage is a cunning bird
With feathers long and wavy;
It swims about the frying pan
And makes its nest in gravy”

Found this gem while reading a very good book ‘The lore and language of schoolchildren’ by Iona and Peter Opie. A study of the songs and rhymes children sing and how they spread and change. Fascinating how old rhymes stay mostly in tact over decades, but children often believe that they (or someone they know) invited it.